First impression. Landed hard.

So. That day. Got up at 5.30. Worked all day. Then bank, money, former owners, keys. Sped away to the house to see it as ours for the first time. Got there, dark and wet outside. Unlocked the door and stepped in. The smell of cigarette smoke hit us like a slap in the face. Okay.. I'm sure it didn't smell of smoke when we were here the first three times? Right? WHY DOES THIS PLACE SMELL OF SMOKE? Stepped into the bathroom on the bottom floor. It smelled strongly of sewer. Met the eyes of my dear fiancé. It was a look of worry. Flushed the toilet, sink and shower to refresh a little. Walked upstairs and looked around. The rooms was roomier than we remembered, but.. What are those assholes of gargantuan closets doing there? They're still here? We told them to remove those fuckers? Texted and they let us formally know that the closets were not their problem anymore. Nice until they get their money, right? Okay, so rig the lights on the bottom floor and inspect the wallpapers. Need to tear them down or just wallpaper over those mothers? But.. you can see the lines all over the place from underlaying layers of wallpaper? So, just tear them down then. Threw everything into the house, from ladders to spatulas to paint to wallpaper to speakers to Red Bull in order to even survive the evening.

Walked into the empty, dark kitchen. Looked out the window. What have they done?! They've exchanged the ordinary lightbulbs on the yard to energy saving lights. Stone cold, bluish white light spread across the houses, luring forward the least pretty features of everything. A graveyard is more cosy at nighttime than our yard is. It was still smelling of cigarette smoke in there.

As we lit the worker's light in the living room we realised that they've mounted plain, plastic, L-shaped baseboards around the whole room, and also, the whole house. Those seriously have to go. The wallpapers that we intended to keep are peeling off? That window doesn't close properly. The front door is really, really hard to close? Like having to bodyslam it to get it to shut-hard. They brought the wallmounted hatstand with them? The light on the porch doesn't work. It did when we were here two weeks ago. The ringbell doesn't work either. So the door on the freezer is mounted on the wrong side so we have to stand out in the hallway to reach into it? They've not taken down any fixtures when painting so there's white paint on EVERYTHING. Every light socket, every wall plug, every handle, every beam, ceiling lights, white paint slathered. They've reconnected the newer washer and dryer to a normal wall plug instead of the actually intended fuse, which means that the fuse for the kitchen and hallway blows when we use them at the same time. They've also actually painted over a bent nail in the ceiling in the hallway. It takes one second to remove a friggin nail! There's cob webs everywhere. Apparently they've been a spider liberal couple. Times change, man. The curtain rods are barely hanging on the severly beaten up fixtures in every room. Hot damn, people can stare right into the kitchen AND our upper floor because of a tilted walkway we hadn't notice before. They've painted the bedroom walls white (and slathered it all over the electrical fixtures) and didn't bother to remove that huge fluffy bubble that they've also poked a hole in in the middle of a wall.

This house has not gotten ANY love from its owners in a long time. Poor house. I understand why they moved. They've used the least time costly, cheapest, dodgyest, most foul looking solutions to everything.
E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G. And dude, I've been living in DORM ROOMS for years with seriously dodgy solutions, and I still find everything they've done to be crap.

We started around the living room, to remove window sills and sockets and those god awful baseboards and threw them out while brooding on the cigarette smell. Seriously, you can't live in a house that smells of cigarettes when you're not a smoker. Also, we knew that the previous-previous owner had been a smoker, and that the couple that we bought the house from had to redo everything when they moved in (that's also how we know who did all those evil things to the house). Could that poison still be in the walls and seep through into the air if we don't air it out constantly? That's unacceptable. What the frick to do?

The ride home, on the pitch black highway, was a dead silent one.


To be continued..