Ovulation, you're doing it wrong.

I have this lingering suspicion that my body is trying to pester me into getting pregnant. The latest trend, ie the last month's cycles, is that I get PMSy and depressed right after ovulation and it keeps on giving until my period starts. For those who are in tune with how women's cycles generally work, know that this means two weeks of misery. Then when my period has kicked in I get happy and horny again, and get to enjoy this for little under two weeks before it all starts back up again.

Le sigh, or what?

Bf states that I'm "so cosy and fun the two happy weeks, it's worth the bad weeks."
Yeah, it's that bad.

In my head, it goes something like this:

It's giving me a conscience damnit! But of course, I will not budge. The egg's protesting will not interfere with my responsibility-less lifestyle. Do you hear that, eggs?!