It's not my birthday, but can't you do it anyway?

I had totally missed the entire boob-quake spectacle, and realised that it was the official boob quake day a few days ago? Very well, to adress the whole idea of scantily dressed women causing earthquakes I say only this: there are morons everywhere and they could, in clear words, go fuck themselves.

And for you my readers, I can assure you that these girls have not caused any earth quakes anywhere. Except maybe in bf's pants.

Which leads me onto today's subject:
The erupting volcano and trembling bodies of land that is sexuality.

You may have noticed me being naked a lot lately? Sadly, this has nothing to do with sexuality but a mere result of me not being able to chill out and collect my thoughts until I hit the sack late at night, hence the naked blogging. Let's move to the reason for this subject (do we really need one?) and it's a hard and cold fact: Yours truly hasn't gotten laid in a month. A month!

Now, I know this is a piss in ocean while single and all that but I have actually met bf quite a lot the last month altough circumstance has always severely disminished our chances to get our jig on (sleeping on an air mattress in strange people's living room without doors, IUD's hurting, early periods, cramps, tummy aches and the like), which is really putting the capital F in frustration. Which makes it Frustration. Anyways. You might say "masturbation?", to which I reply: "Booooooring." It also relieves for like 30 minutes then I'm back to the place I was before, feeling like Eyjafjallajökull screaming for someone (bf) to come and put a plug in me so I stop fuming.

And because it has such a short span of relief-time, I at times just don't bother doing it at all. You'd think that this would settle it all down, you know, don't anger it. Wrong. My body and brain makes it a personal quest to get off, but without my help it takes a lot more effort from their side.

It starts off with the dreams. Small hints of pseudo-sexy dreams advance into increasingly potent sex dreams that occur more and more often during the span off the weeks it's going on. Even the most annoyingly persistent dream-guest I have, T-Rex (we're talking hours of annoying dino) got overridden the other night by me, not trying to hide from the dino but trying to find a place where bf and I could get down and dirty.

Good dream-times, so to speak. It not for the sexy times, at least for getting rid of that DAMN dino!

If I still haven't given in to touching myself after waking up every other night from hot dreams and just don't act on it, my body and brain collects all their mutual strength and brings on the heavy artillery: The sexual convulsions of a spontaneous, nightly orgasm.

I remember the first time it happened, I was about 16 and my period was in full force and I was really, really needy after days of playing with my then asshole boyfriend. A steamy dream led me to come in my sleep, and I simultaneously woke up. In my sleepy haze it didn't feel weird at all until I moved a little, and reality struck as I noticed that my hands were around my head and nothing physical had induced the climax.

I remember looking over at the boyfriend to see if he had noticed which he hadn't, smiled to myself, fell back to sleep and never told him about it. I just know he'd been all jealous and the sex dream was really an event I did not want to elaborate on. Let's just say he wasn't in it.

Ever since I've gotten nightly (and once during a nap) visits from the orgasm-fairy now and then under.. pressured times, and yesterday was one of those times. This time it was a little different because I even woke up before it happened, realised that I was really close and just decided to hang in there and continue the dream. Success. It's really close to hurting when I climax because the muscles are so friggin tense from having to build up an entire orgasm on their own. But well, I can't say I don't find it entertaining. It's almost like getting laid without getting laid. So 'tis all good!

But, do you know what the worst thing is? When looking over the plans for the coming month and when I'm seeing bf and such, it may very well be ANOTHER month before I get anything. Good lawd. Pray for me my friends. I need it.